Motherhood Journey #1 : Make Up My Mind

It’s 12.44 am in the morning.
Just return back from bandung since this morning, my feet feel like swollen yet i only wear my flat sandals along the day actually. Sometimes i wonder why i spend 6 hours to go back and fort to reach Bandung, it’s tiring when you spend much more time on the road than on the actual destination.

It’s random things in my mind.
Today accidently after i go to my husband’s doctor i decide to come by to freya’s doctor too (unplanned). I remember she still has cough that get worse when night come by. When the cough hit her I even sometimes awake and swipe her vomit and change her pajama. It last for several weeks i feel sorry for her.
She has that ichy area on her feet too that still there even after i applying layer of ointment.

After do several check and have discussion it turns out Freya has few allergic show on her skin and cause her cough in the night too. It’s relieving to have professional opinion to solve your health problem.

Oh by the way i took freya by myself with my husband and a cousin just four of us. Freya is an easy girl she used to travel anywhere with me and her papa without any nanny helps. Alhamdulilah everything goes smooth just when i plan to have my ootd taken by my husband its sooo hard to do because she’s so attached to me everywhere we go. Sometimes i have to carry her around when she so spoiled not want to walk by her own. You know how it feels to carry 13.5 kilos girl on your lap around.
Even her father complaining.

Now we’re both on the bed, i have my phone at my side it’s like best time to seek some inspiration (other day i put it away to get better sleep faster). This time i need my notes to catch my impromptu feeling. In betwen my process writing she bug me with her new routine before bed (i can’t tell you what because if i do i have to kill you ???????? naaah i just want to make it private between us haha).

I just realize how much i know my daughter’s detail on her life.
It’a been almost 4 months i take care of her fully alone, just being helped by bibi when i have to go to work. How much it give huge differences to my knowledge of my daughter’s detail ( now i can tell her to eat a big slice of “shrimp roll” with rice. It’s a huuuuuge award for me. And how i can manage her day nap schedule even when she have to sleep at my office while i do my work.

There’s a time when husband’s cousin come help assist me but it last only a month and she quit. I am in order to seek a helpful nanny like Mbak used to but it’s not become priority anymore, i have more relaxing feeling. Take care of my daughter grow up is fully my responsibility so with or without nanny i must be okay. I don’t give much more attention in asking anyone new nanny, it’s scary to give my daughter with stranger so i have to be super picky.

Despite of this new fully experience with my daughter, pretty much now i am enjoying my life as a full time mom and part time worker.
It’s tiring.Really
But i feel it’s worth every single calory energy spend.

Thanks for Reading

Love,